Happy New Year!

We are looking forward to all of the fun, exciting and challenging things to come in 2010. Every year I am amazed at what we have accomplished and how much we have experienced!

This year our family:
-Celebrated Little's 1st birthday!
-Completed another year of Post Graduate Work
-Applied for numerous jobs
-Went on a trip to California for work
-Went on a whimsical/spur of the moment trip to Yellowstone
-Moved for the 4th time during our marriage
-Served as librarians for our ward
-Served as teachers at church
-Taught 2 University courses
-Recieved a national award for research with a nice little $ perk included
-Started taking pictures as a hobby
-Took photography more seriously and photographed weddings and portraits
-Switched from Nikon to Canon
-Experienced another miscarriage (#3)
-Had a family reunion
-Found out we were expecting child #2 and that said child is a boy :)
-Rejoined the gym for another year
-Found out I can and did jog 5 miles in an hour at 23 weeks pregnant! :)
-Knitted and crocheted many things including barbie clothes, scarves, booties...
-Started an Etsy Shop
-Took Illustrator classes and started teaching myself Flash CS4
-Survived the "morning" sickness of pregnancy
-Watched Little become a little boy and develop an amazing vocabulary (including "Satin" as Santa ;)
-Heard and cherished the words "Wuvooo" from our Little
-Finished the Book of Mormon

Just a few of the things we have experienced this past year and in one day we can start our list again!

Happy New Year!

Now we know!

We had our gender ultrasound and found out that our house will be blessed with another little boy. They seem to be what we do well. Little is growing and making me laugh every day as his vocabulary explodes and he bosses us around. It will be interesting to see how he interacts with another little dude!

It will be nice expense-wise. We have boy stuff and now I can just replace things that were too soiled by Little to be recoverable and get some additional blankets and extras that Little still uses so that our new one will have his own. We also will be looking into getting a crib/changing station for our room so that while the baby is small and in our room we have somewhere to change him that won't disturb Little in the middle of the night (oy!).

I am enjoying this pregnancy now that I am over the sickness part for real. It literally took until about 18 weeks for me to get back to a good energy level and now I am back jogging at the gym and feeling good. I was intent on taking a picture every week during my pregnancy this time around, but there is so little development from week to week in the belly area that it is fruitless and we are taking them every 3 or 4 weeks until something really starts popping out there. Plus pregnancy hormones lead me to feel fat, not pregnant so pictures are not my favorite :).

Little just told me he is wearing his "u-e-u-e-u" shirt. BYU. Adorable I tell you!

Wait for it...Wait for it...

We are coming up on the most exciting day of this pregnancy, except the whole having the baby thing. Tomorrow we get to go and be over stressed by a mid-pregnancy ultrasound where they look for all the things that may possibly be wrong with your child in-utero and then at the the end they just happen to tell you the gender of the baby if they can find the correct parts among crossed legs and smushed face and lots of amniotic fluid. It is exciting and very stressful at the same time, I dare say that most pregnant women feel the stress of worrying whether their baby will be perfectly healthy or have some abnormality that they will deal with as a family or as parents. We pray that everything is right, and that is all we can do - and wait in excited and yet for me slightly panicked anticipation for the moment when we know that all is well with our growing baby.

Little is talking more and more every day! He now exclaims "Fix it!" or "I want more..." and his vocabulary is skyrocketing. Yes some of is very hard to understand, like last night when we were going through his bedtime routine and singing "I am a child of God" and afterwards he started saying something in a sing-song voice. It took Husband and I about 3 full minutes of laughing and trying to figure out what it was to realize he was singing "I am a child of God"! It was just in a very garbled 21 month old way. :)

It is awesome(and somewhat daunting) to think that in 20 more weeks we'll be parents times 2 and have another little person (boy or girl) to play with and chase around and learn from. I've been working on baby projects for different genders so that I'm prepared in some way for either one and have baby gifts for others in any case.

We will know more tomorrow, maybe....

Cinnamon and Sugar

Last night, spur of the moment, I decided to raid my mothers pantry and make lovely cinnamon sugar breakfast muffins. They are from the pioneer woman blog and she calls them french breakfast puffs. I decided to take the light way out of all the butter and only butter the tops and then dip them in cinnamon and sugar. They are divine and pioneer woman doesn't lie, they freeze and reheat in the microwave beautifully! Sorry no picture, it was late - I guess I'll just have to make them again! :)

We are enjoying the turn in the weather and I am finally starting not to feel like a faker when I put on a maternity sweater :). As long as it is pretty fitted - there just isn't much showing yet and I know that later I'll be grateful for that. I have felt this baby jamming since thirteen weeks every now and then and now at 16 weeks I'm finally consistently feeling movement during each day and it makes it all more exciting and real.

Any guesses on what the gender will be? We won't know for a while, but we sure are excited to find out!

Well, was that a long enough break...

I couldn't bring myself to post until the world had heard the secret I was keeping. I felt like somehow I was lying by acting like I wasn't feeling like I would rather die than stand up due to nausea. But the secret is out and No. 2 is in the slow cooker. Little and I are on house arrest due to swine flu risk and can't even go around most family members, young ones especially, because symptoms are dormant for 3 days while you are contagious and no one would know they are picking up a horrendous virus. It is especially risky for Pregnant Women and children under 2 so alas, Little and I can't go anywhere except to visit Nana and Papa and everyone has to use hand sanitizer!

Still nausea is constant and exhaustion is overwhelming, but we take it a little at a time and so far we've gotten through. I am knitting again and working on the cutest pair of leg warmers you've ever seen! And if you have the chance to go to Heindselman's yarn store in Provo, run as fast and as far as you can because you will walk away with more beautiful yarn that you "just had to have" than you thought possible.

Fallin'

I walked outside into the crisp, cold air and decided that Utah has finally found Fall. I was ecstatic and went inside to find a long sleeve shirt! I love when it gets cold and we can wrap up in blankets on the couch (one of Little's favorite activities right now) and watch movies and nap. Little yells "Baimpet!" when he wants a blanket to cover up with and then he lounges like he owns the place all over our loveseat. He likes company and snuggling with us as we relax in the evening. These activities are usually full of Little's elbows all over in Husband and my sides and stomach as he moves to get perfectly comfortable. I love those little elbows and the kisses that we get intermittenly as he moves around.

VOTE VOTE VOTE

Go vote for Adam Moore here:

www.yourheartout.com

He has the chance to win an awesome scholarship to a Film Photography workshop. Forward this to all your friends and ask them to vote too! Thank you for your help and support!

Schooled

School is now in full swing and the days are a little calmer. We no longer hear 5 year olds running from our upstairs neighbors ALL day long, just before 9 a.m. and after 2:30 p.m. The husband is busy and when I say busy I mean he has so much work to do that if he did it all while Little and I were awake we would never see him. So we have late nights of preparing for classes and trying not to get overwhelmed by everything we have to accomplish. I am back to the house and trying to maintain it. It got WAY out of hand while we were so busy with family and fun. My sink is no longer piled high with dishes and my laundry is no longer littering my hallway. Things are getting into their proper places and it feels like a fresh start for the new year of school.



Little just exclaimed "orange circle!" mimicking one of his toys. That boy just astounds me at how many words he tries to say.

Family Fondness

We just had a family reunion and having not experienced those very often (the kind where you all convene in one location for days on end) I was kind of weary of what it would be like. Tension runs high when you are living with people that aren't normally in your every minute vicinity. But it turned out wonderfully. I was sick quite a bit of the time with a pesky monthly hormone imbalance that causes terrible nausea and makes everyone think that I'll have an important announcement forthcoming, alas I never do. We got some minimal (and I mean MINIMAL) shopping done at the outlets, and ate Cafe Rio (I prefer Costa Vida personally) and had family programs where I cried my eyes out over people I'd never met. It was a nice opportunity to meet officially a lot of Husband's family that I met only at our wedding (almost 5 yrs ago) and was obviously occupied with other things and therefor didn't remember. Pretty awesome people.

We settled back into our own home and routine with a couple added guests, including a playmate for Little and a hang out friend for me. We all had a blast and now our guests are leaving and it feels that much more empty in our new digs. We'll sink back into a groove here soon with Husband teaching and schooling everyday and Little and I filling our time with learning and exercising and all sorts of activities like baking squash and eating the whole thing (by myself).

Squash anyone?

Chocolate makes the world a little rounder...

Photo {Via Me}

After I made a round of Tiramisu Truffles {by Sweet Paul} I added the photos to the arsenal of food shots I am compiling for a portfolio. These were the yummiest possibly most intoxicating truffles mediated by a mild crunch of ladyfingers in the middle. I had to give them away - so I didn't get rounder.

Little loved them and kept trying to perfect his verbalizing of the word "chocolate" which sounds like "choch-yat". Adorable, but I can't give in when he wants to eat a whole pan of "choch-yat" so he experienced some dissapointment and ate a fruit stick instead, which he refers to as "nacks" (he likes fruit snacks, so we're finding healthy, organic options).

Maybe next time I do a food styling session I'll make a vegetable dish...

WOWSERS

The summer has been crazy and I can't believe it's flown by so fast! Our move is *almost* over, I wish the rest of the stuff would just take care of itself. Husband is so busy and dedicated to what he does. I love when he takes a day off just because. We could spend everyday together, all day and love every minute of it. We go through rushes and lulls in our relationship where everything will feel just so and then we feel such a love and excitement at spending time together - the mundane is exciting and full of romance. Sometimes this feeling hits me sooner than husband and he is shocked at how much I love him. It is never surprising, really. That's why we chose eachother.

We are constantly overwhelmed by how much we love Little. We knew we would love him, but we didn't know we would be so completely taken with him. He amazes us and we think he is brilliant*(just like every good parent should). He just exclaimed this week while pointing at himself "ME!" and joy and sadness all came at once. I can't believe he is growing so fast and it is somewhat sad to me, I want another little one to come along so that we can enjoy this process all over again without too much time in between. But that is not what is in the plan I guess. Every month we struggle with the dissapointment that another little one is not on the way. We know it will happen at just the right time. So we still hope.

For now we are all in love with eachother and all the fun things, mundane things, and silly things we do together. Our evening walks are back and I love the family bonding they bring. We walk to the grocery store and buy treats for my boys and a Diet Coke for me and walk home enjoying each others company and sometimes the sprinklers that surprise us!

I will miss summer. I love the warmth and fun outside and lazy days that I get to spend playing with Little or working on my goals.

Etsy Store is LIVE

I opened my etsy store today. Meaning I finally got up enough courage to finally post my items. :) Well it's an ITEM currently, but I'm working on a few more listings. Stay tuned!

www.undercovermothers.etsy.com

Check it out!

Moving and Losing... my mind!

We moved this last week and we are still in process of finishing up the declutter at the old place. It's a nightmare to have to drive 35 minutes just to clean up junk I don't think I need. But we are thoroughly enjoying our new living space. There are boxes dotting the hall way and our storage closets are full of still unpacked boxes. But we love the space and the fact that we are now closer to school and family. I took Little on a walk yesterday (2.3 miles) and it was a good little workout. It will be nicer to do that when its cooler outside but we made it to our destination and then quickly drank some water to cool off.

Little is enjoying our new backyard area and frequently likes to go out and play on the toys. Its a great outlet for him during the day. We just started taking him to nursery at church and he loves it! He really enjoys dancing and "jamming" during singing time, and cries when they put the toys away. He's so funny!

We lost the wheel to our crib so we are off to buy another one, crib that is. We've been borrowing the one we have and we know that the wheel is packed somewhere - so we figure we'll find the wheel as we unpack, but we have the opportunity to buy a crib and matching changing table courtesy of credit card points! Awesome. The Husband was hoping for a flat screen TV but can you really justify that when we watch less than 4 hours of TV a week? I think not, curse pragmatism.

The to do list to recover from moving is insane - so for the next week we'll be visiting Home Depot quite frequently. Maybe I'll see you there?

Wow, my attention span is crazy!

It's been a while, I started my new blog and haven't been around much. Life is crazy among moving and family time and just plain living. Little is adorable and is losing that "little" look and turning into a strapping young boy one day at a time. He now thinks he can speak english which is hilarious! He walks around jabbering and acting like a crazy who thinks we understand every single thing he says. He does clearly say over 25 words and we love every little thing he is learning. Especially when the new words accidentally sound like curse words :).

All is well in our world and we are taking everything one day at a time.

:)

I found something

...that I look to do. Work on my new blog www.foundforyouandme.blogspot.com . Check it out! It's a collection of things I like and find inspiring.

A Quarter Century

Today I turned a quarter century old....

25

Did I ever think I would struggle with some of the same feelings of getting old and being behind that I've heard others talk about - no. But alas I do struggle with all those same feelings and for some reason birthday #25 is kind of lame.

Reality Check

After last weeks fertility drama and finding out that there are just lots of hormones raging in my system that are causing most of my anxious feelings I have moved into a new phase of existence. I am trying to want only what god wants for me. The Husband and I have rebudgeted for the next year and found a new living space. We move in two weeks! We are now closer to all the places we need to be. And the blessings just keep pouring in, the Husband has found more opportunities to work in the fall making life much less stressful.

I just finished another Illustrator class from Alma and it was wonderful! It further convinced me that I want to really pursue my graphic design interests and I am working on a few projects to try and get my name out there. I love it, I just have to pace myself and not try and do everything at once... I'm just working consistently at trying to achieve the things I want. I'm attending a Kirtsy Hands On workshop tonight and looking forward to networking with some great women.

My name is not Myrtle

Fertility is a sore subject around my house these days. I guess not really sore as much as a seriously depressing and tumultuous subject that has deeply ingrained itself in my day to day. When I go out I see pregnant people everywhere. And I have made a victory in my life - I am no longer angry at all the pregnant people - just insanely jealous and sad that it is not meant for me at this time. I love seeing all the babies and holding their sweet, tiny bodies. Sometimes it even seems as though it would be nice to take a baby home after a miraculously short gestation, without doing 9 months of work beforehand.

For me it seems as though I must put in double duty, I must go through a serious 18 month to 2 year process of finding the problem spots in my fertility and addressing them one by one. I admit I only have one point of reference for this and now the continued struggle to get pregnant and have a child. We're 7 months in and it does not seem as though it is looking up. We know (the Husband and I) that it will happen when it is meant to. But in my life I find it hard to be patient and wait for blessings to be bestowed. I want them signed, sealed, delivered - Yesterday.

Today I have an appointment to find out the next step in the process. I'll be interested to find out what I'll be in for. It could be more waiting, it could be tests, or medications, or who knows what. We'll see what happens and in the meantime I will remain, as I have heard doctors say in the past, cautiously optomistic. I will also refrain from referring to myself as Fertile Myrtle.

All Dressed Up

**UPDATE**

If you would like to enter to win a dress from Shabby Apple, visit this link:

Marseilles Dress SHABBY APPLE GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

I am in love with these dresses! They are by Shabby Apple.

(Spotted via {No Sex in the City} and {CJane})

I am a vintage clothing lover at heart and these dresses just feed the need.

If anyone has the desire to purchase one of these for me ;) I won't complain at all!

The silhouettes are so flattering and beautiful. I just can't get enough!

.....One of each please?

click on the pictures above to go to retailer.

Fly, Blackbird, Fly

I want this.... Just thought I'd let the world know!

The Blackbird, fly is a twin-lens reflex camera: one lens is used to expose the film, while the other is used like a viewfinder. It’s a famous style of camera whose history stretches back to the 1920s. The Blackbird, fly uses 35mm film.(Details taken from here where you can also purchase said camera)

Via {Oh Happy Day}

Sleep is over rated

That is what Little thought on our trip south this weekend. On Sunday night we put him to bed in the hotel and he seemed to go to bed without any problem. We didn't know at that point that he would wake up at 3:30 a.m. and think it was play time. He started talking in his crib at the end of our bed and we thought maybe if we just ignored him he would fall back asleep. Boy were we wrong! He played peacefully in his crib until about 4:15 and then he popped his head above the top of the crib smiling and we couldn't control our laughter and then he REALLY thought it was play time! Soon he had grabbed the remote and played with it just enough to accidentally turn on a hockey game that was on t.v.!

He played in our bed until about 5:00 then Sister 5(A) and I took him downstairs and got him "Cheese", this is what he calls food. We played in the lobby of the hotel until 6:30 and then returned to our room to wake up Husband and Boyfriend of Sister 5 with the racket of Little as we tried unsuccessfully to get him back to sleep. He finally fell asleep at 7:30 as Husband was getting up to shower. It made for a very tired Little and very tired parents as we went about our Memorial Day activities. It probably didn't help that we named ourselves the sick room as we were all coughing and sniffing all night long and disturbing Little.

When we got him back into his own space he was back to his own old routine of sleeping 11 hours a night and two naps a day. Thank heavens for a routine and familiar places.

Memories of Memorial Day 2009

Small basket arrangment by Me. Picture by Me.

Memorial Day was a blast! We had fun putting together the flower arrangments and we are streamlining the process quite well, it didn't take near as long as it has in the past and we had lots of family to talk to and exciting marriage announcements from cousins, lots of little ones running around and I got to have a great talk with my cousin who like me, struggles with infertility. It was great to talk with her and get her perspective on the whole process of childbirth or wanting a child.

We came home worn out and ready to be back in our own space. But we enjoyed all the family and a little of the good food :). And I cried during Taps (you know, the bugle song - hormones! and memories!)

The very beatiful arrangment for my grandparents grave, created by Sister 2 (M).

Picture by Husband.

Wreath for the Fallen Soldier. Picture by Husband.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend

Large arrangment by Sister, small basket arrangment in background by Me.

Every Memorial Day, my family heads south in a rather sizeable flock to show our respect and love for those that have gone before. We visit cemeteries spanning southern Utah and deliver flower arrangements that we congregate to make the evening before. These are not your run of the mill "mums in a basket" type of arrangments, they are well put together and artfully designed and executed by various talented family members. The culmination of the flowers is the arrangment for my grandparents grave site. My sister makes this arrangment and it is OUTSTANDING every year! I have so many childhood memories of this tradition, most having to do with rain on Memorial Day which seems to happen every year. We frantically run around staking down the arrangments so they don't blow over and it is hysterical EVERY year. We all gather after the cemetery train and have a family reunion/lunch together and then we disperse to our respective towns and homes. I look forward to this every year and miss it when I don't live near enough to attend. This year Little will be big enough to traipse through the grass and witness and experience some of the magic of being with so much family.

I'll post pictures (probably courtesy of The Husband) of the events when we get back. Have fun and remember those that have served our country and given their lives for our freedom and show those you love just how much you love them!

Overrun!

This week has been a crazy one! I daringly took the adventure of adding 4 children to my quiver for 6 days.... boy, when their parents said we were in trouble they weren't a kidding! The husband and I have been up to our eyeballs in "he hit me, bit me, took mine, don't touch me, I'm sick, I'm not tired and I've read all the books in my room, can't I just lay in your bed" along with lots of poop, wiz, and all around loveliness! We now know what it would be like to have twins, we have had our 14.5 month old boy and a 13 month old girl duking it out for who gets more attention and it has actually worked out really well, since the girl only likes Husband. I get the stink-eye from her if I get near her so I have left her to husband to be taken care of while I wrangle the rest of the rowdy crowd. 

These experiences while proving to be excellent birth control also help us to understand that if we ever have 5 children (that is now in debate), we will be able to handle it and survive past middle age. It is busy to be sure, but we know we could do it and experiences such as these help us to work as a team. We have seen the last few days what it is like to be woken up at 1 am with a sick child who needs us. I was proud of myself last night that I didn't scream out of fright when the 8 year old was found standing next to my bed when I stirred mid-REM cycle. I might have scared him when I shot up in bed like something had bitten me, but then Husband helped me by medicating him and getting him back in his bed. 

We are exhausted thats for sure, but we will be richer in funds and experience when this is all over. And it has been a good experience to find out that my nephews can rely on me when they need something and I can help them. 

We'll be back to regular programming on Monday night, and then we will take a deep breath and finally be able to walk around our own house in whatever state of undress we like. Nothing to scandalous of course! 

Meanwhile, a lot (read:ALL) of my projects are on hold. I can't wait to show you what I've been working on!

Walkin' around

Little is WALKING - it's bittersweet! I love watching his cute little body waddle around. But I miss the little Little. Soon enough he will be a walking fully TALKING Little, he already has about 15 words. A little more than one word for every month of his life (14). He's growing like crazy and becoming a big Little.

He has now started cuddling with a little teddy bear snuggly from his Grandma. It helps him sleep and he burrows his face in it to relax in his crib. Sooooooooo cute! And after we give him his snuggly, we hear not a peep as he drifts off to dream land!

Captured

Picture by Husband

The husband and I have been captured by the desire to photograph and portray all that we see in our own creative way. For a while now we have been taking unreasonable amounts of photos of Little. And at some point I do think you can have too many photos of your offspring, just ask my 100 gb hard drive that is now full!

We shot our first engagement session this past weekend and have had a few other sessions of couples that agreed to pose for us. The couple this past weekend was delightful to spend time with and didn't give us the stink eye if we got in their face with our lenses. It's an interesting experience to have two photographers working with the same subject, but Husband and I have been enjoying having a common creative goal. We were soooooooooo giddy at how the images turned out! They ended up exceeding our expectations and I enjoyed seeing the results of our hard work together. It's almost like a baby! We won't be having another one of those for quite a while so in the meantime we will just make other creative projects together. ;)

This common interest in photography has been great for our relationship, giving us even more to talk about and more things to spend our time together doing. I always feel cliche when I think about how much I love the Husband, in fact it is probably truly corny! I have started to really believe that after 4 years the man who married us was right, he told us..."In the coming years you will be amazed, if you think you love eachother now just wait 50 years, your love will continue to grow and you will be amazed at how much you love each other."(something like that).

Maybe later I'll post a link to our photo website.

Paper Addicts Anonymous

I've decided I need a group that helps paper addicts overcome their addiction. I have loved paper ever since I can remember. When I was in gradeschool I would buy journal after journal faster than I could fill them, just because they had pretty paper. Now let's be honest, who needs that much paper? Definately not me, but I crave it, live for getting another piece of beatiful textured or patterned paper. And to add to this addiciton I have been looking into hand bookbinding for a few years now and have finally decided to try and teach myself with books from the library on the subject. Am I kidding myself! All I need right now is to add more and more journals or books to my already mountainous collection of pretty paper I cannot give up! The Husband might threaten pyromania if I do that, but nonetheless he is supportive because I have a need to learn and teach myself new things, no I do not stick with one for very long- after I learn and finish a good practice run I move on to new things. I do revisit old things like how I make baby booties just because I know how, but I love learning and cannot seem to get enough of new skills. This desire to learn makes me a master of none but I attempt a lot!

So right now I am reading the books I amassed at the library on bookbinding (ahem, every book they had on the shelf...I'm sure someone hates me right now!), and figuring out the most economical way to go about the process of teaching myself how to make beautiful books, maybe I'll post a result and then I'll probably move on to something new!

The Husband and I are having a great time exploring the world of photography, we have so much fun going on adventures together to find cool new places to photograph. Now we just need more people, I'm sure that when we finally have a portfolio put together no one will see it as professional to have picture after picture of our family and our Little one after another. But for now, Little is the best darn model ever! The Husband is taking a class in may on photography and I'm on the waitlist for a class on tabletop photography and crossing my fingers that I get in!

I'm off to spend time with some paper and feed my addiction!

These little piggies

are intermittently supporting a freestanding little man as I sit here and watch him test his balance and gently remove the the few chubby fingertips from the ledge that is supporting him. He tests and then decides for the safer route of minimal support and then tests again. Two nights ago he stood for about 5 seconds two different times while distracted by my other half. We tried to get him to do it again, but this little man has his own agenda and that does not normally involve standing or walking.

He is realizing he has a freedom in standing and he has learned the words "up!" to gain access to my arms and the world from a different point of view and only today "diap!" for diaper when his little bum was rash ridden and he wanted a new diaper. He's smart I tell you, but I'll also tell you I'm his mother. He got two more teeth on Saturday, now totalling eight. It has made his grin that much harder to resist. He is growing faster than I would like. The freedom from constant holding might seem like a luxury, but when I see him exploring his independence and refusing my hand or care in an effort to find his own way I yearn for a cuddly newborn that needs touching and holding and cooing. Alas, that is not in the life plan right now, hopefully sooner rather than later but I rely on greater things than my own wishes or desires to guide my life.

I frequently kvetch to my parents about my infertility woes, and indeed they do a good job of calming me and helping me to see through my jealousy and sadness. They help me to see that with 7 children of their own, my time will come. So I realize after brief sadness when I find out about a loved ones pregnancy that I am truly excited for them and cannot wait to see their joy and offer help when they may need it. When you experience infertility these announcements of the stork seem so frequent and so vivid in your memory, but in truth they are interspersed between happiness, sadness, grieving and the mundane happenings of years passing.

My life is great because of the little piggies pictured above, and I frequently kiss them and tickle them and bring laughter to my home making my life seem that much brighter!

A Basket of Biscuits

I got it into my head today that I wanted to make biscuits. When ascribing to a weight watchers lifestyle they do not seem to be the most intelligent choice in food. But I was looking up a recipe for low point Chicken Fricassee, my mom recommended it to utilize the diced tomatoes that I have. When I looked it up online I found that it went well with biscuits and I was improvising anyway because I could not find a recipe that utilized tomatoes, only onions and peppers. So I made the following recipes:



Low Point Chicken Fricassee: 7 servings for 4.5 to 5 pts per servings



Chicken Breasts (boneless skinless) 16 oz. (16 pts)

Fiber One All Bran Cereal (1 cup processed to fine texture) (7 pts)

1/2 C egg beaters (2 pts)

3 Cans Diced Tomatoes (4 pts)

Seasoned Pepper

Red Pepper Flakes

2 cloves garlic

Salt

1 tsp olive oil (1 pt)



Coat chicken in egg beaters and then bran cereal mixed with spices.

Place Ooil in skillet and saute garlic til golden brown. Add coated chicken pieces and let grill for 6 minutes on each side. Move Chicken to separate pan that is oven safe and bake at 350 for 15 minutes (or until cooked through). Add diced tomatoes to pan with garlic and add more of same spices to tomatoes. Let tomatoes cook down to a stew like consistency.

Low Point Biscuits: Makes 16 to 17 biscuits at almost 2 pts each

1 C Whole Wheat Flour

1 C White Flour

3 T Shortening

3/4 C FF Milk

1.5 t baking powder

.5 t baking soda



Bake at 500 for 9 minutes, cool on wire rack.


They were great! We ate it for 3 days, so obviously I need to learn to cook smaller portions!

This is the kind of day

that I wanted to have today. It didn't start out full of joy and relaxation, but after I had a teeny littlle pity party I kicked myself into gear and made it a better day. I chose not to go full throttle and clean like normal, instead I took it slow and threw in a couple loads of laundry and played with Little on the floor. He fell asleep in my arms again, but today I put him in his crib and had a quiet laundry folding and lunch time. When he woke up I fed him lunch, which included little hot dog type things from gerber, cheese and diced tomatoes from our food storage. This kid loves tomatoes! Then we (I) decided to go on a walk and it was beatiful outside. I can only imagine with how hot it was today what it will be like in July, maybe miserable.

Now it is time to have nap round two for Little while I whip up dinner for the Husband and try and use more diced tomatoes - I gotta prove that going to do family canning is worth the investment! :)

I hope you had a wonderful day today!

Reading, Reading all the day...

I have been trying for a while now to no avail to get Little to sit still long enough to read him a little book. I couldn't figure out if it was just the boy genetics or that he wasn't old enough, but he would only wiggle and whine until I let him out of my grasp to crawl, grab and mawl anything within reach.

Just after he turned one year old I accomplished the aforementioned task, for a mere 2 minutes while I sang the wheels on the bus from a book, but I accomplished it. Since then he has begun to let me rock him before bed and read to him whether it be from the scriptures or from my favorite story book of all time; BEST STORYBOOK EVER, 1968 by Richard Scarry.

This night time ritual has become a cherished time and Little sleeps better than ever!

Crafty Barbie

This past week I recieved a catalog in the mail for the 50th birthday of Barbie. I wondered to myself why I would recieve such a thing, but it proved to be inspiration for a project I've been wanting to try but had not yet felt pushed to. I broke out the crochet cotton and found some ideas for crocheted barbie clothes on the internet and adapted my own. I made a little red sun hat for barbie's day at the beach. I want to work on an entire outfit, hopefully a little sundress and little shoes. Now whose barbie do I borrow without looking like a wierd doll obsessed adult, so that I can try the clothes on Miss Barbie herself?



Have you heard of the band The Script? They were on the today show recently and pretty awesome! Go UK!

Pictures of Barbie clothes to follow....

New Low Point Cake - Diet Soda is Involved

Have you heard about making a cake with low sugar cake mix and diet soda? Well, I hadn't until my sister-in-law showed me. She made one and it was quite delicious. So for Little's birthday what did I do? I made a low point cake for everyone to enjoy.

1 pillsbury reduced sugar devils food cake mix
1 12 oz. Diet Caffiene Free Coke (I didn't want to give the 1 year old a buzz)

Mix together and place in pan sprayed with nonstick spray.

Bake until knife comes out clean from center.

I then let it cool completely and topped it with Cool Whip Free mixed with Cheesecake Sugar Free Pudding and Pistachio Sugar Free Pudding. Then decorated it.

Total this cake ended up being almost 4 points per piece. It varies depending on how much Cool Whip and Pudding you use and the cake mix you choose.

It was wonderful and fudgy and delicious and the coke gave it a nice deep flavor.

Quilt to my lou

Picture Courtesy of Me

This is what my quilt top looks like so far. I am working on the border right now and I hope to have a picture of the entire finished top ready to be assembled with backing by the end of next week. It is turning out so cute!I love the pinwheels, and I just checked out like 8 books on quilting to get ideas to justify my fabric expenditures last week.

Seagulls Overhead

Picture Courtesy of Me

It's not very often that you see a huge flock of seagulls flying over your house. It induces the anxiety that you might just get pooped on if you go outside. So after running to the car I took this picture of the ones that were taking a rest on the roof.

Shattered

I have not blogged in the past about my struggle with fertility. But I had one. I was in the evil conception/miscarriage/pregnancy loss/surgery/hormone therapy cycle for a good(see: bad or stress-filled) two years. I found out I was pregnant for the first time in early December of 2005. I was filled with excitement and could not wait to see the little one in my belly develop and grow and make me grow wide/bloated as he or she grew and eventualized out of my womb.

Of course I had anxiety of growing wider since I had been so successful at Weight Watchers, but all of that was overshadowed by the excitement of growing a little human. I finally felt what it was like to be pregnant, and although I felt REALLY pregnant I was loving it! I found out a short time later that my doctor in Texas was what he called "cautiously pessimistic" about the outcome of my pregnancy and would not give me anymore clarity than that and repeated ultrasounds to see how slow my babies heartbeat was. I could not stand the ambiguity any longer and I saw my regular OB in Utah when I went to visit. He confirmed that I would miscarry and that my baby had died at 8 weeks gestation. I valued the honesty and even though it hurt, it allowed me to plan and endure the wrestle with my emotions that was to come - after all I WAS pregnant, and I wasn't passing the tissue so maybe they were wrong! Maybe I was still going to have this beautiful baby that I had envisioned in my head. On February 21st, 2006 I miscarried and it was one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. It was like labor without the result of a beautiful baby in your arms at the end, I guess it wasn't like it - it was it! I was told I had to wait 3 months to get pregnant again, even considering my Uterine Septum that was discovered during the first pregnancy. My Doctor in Utah advised against this and believed I should have surgery to correct the problem, but since I was not living in Utah and would not be under his care we followed the direction of our Doctor in Texas and tried to get pregnant again 3 months later.

I got pregnant that summer and again felt sick and very pregnant. I changed doctors because I was not comfortable with the treatment we received with the previous pregnancy. All seemed to be going well, I was growing a little baby inside me. I began to bleed at around 7 weeks and I was put on bed rest and what they call "pelvic rest" meaning Husband and I now had a purely platonic existence. Joy of joys, let me tell you! But I was ready to do whatever I had to do to protect our growing baby. The bleeding did not stop and I was sure at 12 weeks I had miscarried when I had what seemed like period bleeding, but when I went to the doctor there was our little baby on the ultrasound screen weathering the storm that was happening in my body. It seemed that there was a pocket of blood behind the placenta and that is what was causing the bleeding. It could potentially cause miscarriage because it is an abruption making it so the placenta does not function properly because it is not attached all the way.

Fear and panic overtook my existence. I had already experienced a miscarriage and I did not want to do it again. I remember calling my mom and sobbing hysterically into the phone, "Why me?! Why do I have to go through this again!" But I was reassured by my doctor that the baby was fine and we were sent to a fetal specialist to have ultrasounds every week. At 14 weeks we found out that we were having a little boy, it was abundantly clear! He was moving around and kicking and comfortably swimming in my belly. We left the doctors office with orders that we could discontinue seeing the specialist and just go with our normal doctor. The baby looked good and we happily went on our way with a video of our little one.

At my next appointment I was 16 weeks and was giddily anticipating hearing my babies heartbeat again. I lay on the exam table as my doctor gelled my stomach and placed the monitor to hear the heartbeat. She laughed a little nervously and asked if he might be hiding. But her expression was stern and there was no reassurance in it. She calmly told me that we should do an ultrasound to see if we could find out if he was turned so we couldn't hear his heartbeat. And so we both quickly went to the Ultrasound room and I sat there panicked and overwhelmed to the point that I wanted to throw up. As she sat down and placed the ultrasound wand to my stomach her face fell and she announced, "It's what I thought, your baby died." She then proceeded to show me how his tiny fragile body had no life and was collapsed at the bottom of my uterus. And I held it together until I had to speak. Husband had gone to school that day because it was supposed to be a run of the mill appointment. Now I had to call him and tell him we no longer had a baby. I dialed him on my cell phone and when he picked up I broke into a thousand pieces and could not form coherent sentences amongst my hiccuped sobs. It was a Friday morning and I was going to have to wait until Monday to be put into labor and deliver our baby, it would be September 11, 2006.

My mother flew in and stayed with us and cared for me when I returned home from the hospital. Husband was very understanding and helpful and we started going to therapy together to deal with my postpartum depression and anger. And I scheduled surgery to remove my uterine septum that Christmas while I was in Utah.

I successfully had surgery and waited three months after to try and get pregnant. I found out I was pregnant again on July 17, 2007 and I was ecstatic and panic stricken, after all, what if it happened again. I had now suffered a miscarriage and a pregnancy loss during which I could have chosen to name and bury my baby and it had torn me apart. I moved to Utah weeks later and was under the care of my regular and trusted OB. And despite bleeding for weeks and many scares I gave birth in March of 2008 to a beautiful baby boy who stole my heart!

I know this a long look into what I have experienced, but I hope that as it has helped me to know that others have experienced this, I can help others by sharing my experience. As I look forward to having more children, it still scares the pants off me! That "What if?" is always hanging around and the memories of what I have experienced come back anew when I begin to think of pregnancy and all the joy and sorrow it can bring.

Stayed

Picture Courtesy of Me

Today marked a very important moment for me. I have in the past made it known that I am not the "stay-at-home" kind. I am to obsessive and social, and I love to go and do fun things. I found it hard to calm the urge to go, go, go when Little was born and therefor I spent the first 9 months of his life traveling everyday to the nearby city where my parents and siblings live and wandering from house to house visiting and inhabiting their homes. I enjoyed this time with my sisters and parents and found that I was building relationships with them that had dwindled since I'd been married and moved away for two years and it was a nice feeling to have that closeness.

As Little grew bigger it became harder to relax in those moments and carting him around at a near 20 lbs. in a carseat became a drag (literally). Little was more active, invasive, and downright curious about everything and it was becoming easier to have him at home in the evening with his own toys and his comfortable surroundings and the two people who love him most. I decided that I would try a little experiment and see how I liked being a "stay-at-home" gal. Especially after I talked to one of the husbands good friends, who is my inherited good friend and it seemed as though we had so much in common and she still liked to stay home and care for her little girl. So I thought, "Heck, why not me?!" and I gave it a whirl. I started to stay home 2 days a week.

The first day was wonderful, Little and I slept in and I got up and cleaned the house and the Husband was shocked at the beauty of his home when he returned that evening. It was a nice feeling. The second night was a late night at school for the Husband, and by the time he returned I was all tuckered out and Little'd out for that matter. I wondered if this was the path for me, maybe noone would ever understand the solitude and quiet that I did not desire and the adult interaction that I craved. The funny thing was, when I went "into town" the next time, it held less appeal. I could feel the irritation rising that I was not at my own house with my own Little, and all the things that make him happy and comfortable.

I am now making the choice to stay at home 3 days a week and if I can make that more frequent I am happy to. I still travel in to see my family 2 days a week at least and I have my gym membership and weight watchers. So I am there frequently, but not yearning and craving it like I used to.

So today I made the choice that when Little fell asleep on my chest, at 12 months old, a rarety in any case, to put aside my tasks that I had set out for myself and let my son sleep on me for nearly 2 hours. It was BLISS! I miss those moments when I got to hold him as he slept deeply and sweetly for hours and needed me and cuddled. He is turning into a little rough and tumble boy and I stole a moment (a long moment) to be with my little one and savor the sweetness of infancy that will never return as he grows older.

When he woke up I took him to the park and we sat on a swing together and showed him how it worked and then I took him down the slide and played with him on the playground. I appreciate every stage he goes through, and savor every moment. And now I can say "I so AM the "stay-at-home" kind of girl."

You Quilt My Heart

I am attempting to make a quilt top as a "small" project. For some reason I always tackle things head on with a not so easy project when starting a new hobby. I tried to make a patchwork quilt when I was in highschool but in the end my mom took the work I had done and turned it into a beautiful wedding present for me and to this day it is one of my most favorite things ever! She even put pico's on the edge and they remind me of my favorite baby blanket of yore and therefore bring comfort and fond memories.

So I decided to make a quilt from fabric that I already had on hand and sorted through my stash. I ended up wanting to add a hot pink that I didn't have and so I spent 5$ on remnant fabric at Joann's and then cut out 4" squares of all the fabrics with my rotary cutter and mat.

I decided to make a pinwheel quilt and began a'sewin my squares and cutting them in half diagonally and then ironing the seams on the back and then sewing them together (4 squares to one pinwheel) and ironing 2 more times. So far I have all my pinwheels sewn together and ironed and cut back down to a regulation size - 6 inches. None of this would be doable without my olfa cutter and mat - it is a godsend that I recieved on my most recent birthday because my mom and my sisters know just how much I love to craft and sew and how much I was coveting one of these!

I am making progress on this lovely quilt o'mine and hope to show you results after I get some help from my mom laying out a good pattern of the different pinwheels. Let me tell you, this quilt is my outlet for all the crazy girliness inside of me that is stored away because I have a son that cannot wear pink with black and white polkadots, so I have thus channeled every inch of girl I possess in the adornment department and put together what I consider to be my most favorite self-made possible blanket EVER!(possible blanket because after finishing the quilt top, I still have to get backing and batting and then actually quilt it and add that forever-loved pico edge, before it is an actual blanket).

AAAAAAArgh!

I'm sure you know what it feels like to have everything concrete in your life, things you've been planning and working on ripped from your grasp. Well, my laptop crashed and everything, including my valentine week posts were there with pictures and everything ready to be put on the blog and my motherboard died. So now I am in search of the perfect solution, which does not include fixing said motherboard because I got the computer for free and it has already crashed twice and sucked too much money down the drain. So the search begins and frustration ensues! Ce La Vie! Hopefully we'll get our hard drive memory retrieved in the next little while and I can put up all the things I was working on.

Meanwhile, we are having fun at my house playing with our camera and deciding just how photography obsessed we should let ourselves be. What is happening at your house this week?

Valentines Babysitting Week - Day 1

I inherited 3 children last night. So for the week I will be a mother of four insanely rambunctious children that love to squeal, laugh and entertain eachother. I am trying to do a fun activity everyday and today was Valentines Goody Bag Day.

The parent belonging to the children I inherited, provided the goods for the bags and we put them all together. The girls enjoyed doing something unique for Valentines Day to give to their friends. Tomorrow we will be finishing their boxes to take to school and my Cricut will be put to good use.

ummmm My heart just exploded!

Ok, so not for any real reason. But just imagine this - I walked into the brightly lit warehouse, the smell of newly opened boxes and lots of cardboard wafting toward me. My feet padded across the glimmering cement floor and I found myself with my hand caressing a box, what was in that box? My Valentines present to myself and the Husband - a not so insanely priced but pricey camera with all the bells and whistles. Now I will spend my time figuring out how to use said item while trying to achieve some sort of balance in my life. :)

Our new addition

I know what your thinking, it's the inevitable announcement - drumroll please...........

Picture Courtesy of Me

No of course I didn't just give birth and no I'm not pregnant...I got a new lamp! Why all the hype? Because I love it and I am excited about the transformation that I am trying to make in my home. I want it to be a home that is beautiful and comfortable and uniquely mine. While a lamp from Ikea may not speak "originality", the way I choose to configure and piece together my own home does, at least for me. I am the proud new owner of the Knappa hanging lamp ($24.99) and the corner of my living room looks so much more pleasant for it!

This is what I found

When I walked into Little's room after his nap. I heard his calls, which he issues with great force. These are not cries or whines but truly a call like "aaaaaaah!". I know he's calling me and so I venture into his room. Normally I would find him laying on his tummy with his head lifted, smiling brightly and panting with excitement. But today I found this - yes, he has learned how to climb the gates that retain him. And so we enter a new and exciting realm of living with a toddler!

I took the cutest picture the other day, but for the life of me I cannot decide whether it is appropriate to post pictures of Little's cute and absolutely adorable bum on my blog? What say the general public?

How is it?

That my camera is broken? Really it's not my camera its the stupid card that stores the pictures that go in my camera. I tried to download them and three times now it has frozen my computer and I've had to just shut it down. I am frustrated by this for multiple reasons - one being that there are some stinkin' cute pictures on my camera that I wanted to post here and I cannot get them off my camera - second being that I really want a new camera and so this just adds to the list of reasons I should get said VERY EXPENSIVE new camera. I think maybe there is a virus on the memory card or something, so I'm trying to figure that out. I should have some interesting things coming up as I will be inheriting 3 extra kids for a week very soon. Should be interesting to say the least.

The whole weight thing is going ok, I've been the same for the last 6 weeks and just bounce around in a 1 lb. range. So thats ok I guess - but I think the GIANT piece of chocolate cake I had over a two day period is going to do bad things this week. Life has been crazy and I'm really getting into knitting again. I just unraveled an entire bootie today because it had a minor mistake, but I want them to look perfect. And I'm trying to finish a hat and start a baby sweater, so it should be a busy craft time over the next little while.

I will continue to try and keep it updated here. :) See you soon!

Stroller GiveAway at I Never Grew Up

I Never Grew Up is having a giveaway for a wonderfully splendid IndieTwin Stroller (pictured below). When considering the thought of having two children in the future (not near future, mind you.) this stroller calms some of the nerves that arise when thinking of going walking in the mall or anywhere really.

Check out the giveaway if you have some of those nerves that need to be calmed when taking multiple children out of the house at once. I fell in love with this upon seeing it, and hearing how wonderfully it works and accomadates various needs - plus I'm all about anything functional and fabulously pretty or chic!

Projects

I have been working on several projects lately, some long term and large and some within the foreseeable future. I tend to take on lots of things to fill my "spare" time, not that there is much of that with Little literally trying to RUN around. But I have found several things that I enjoy and look forward to working with on a continual basis. As I have mentioned Knitting is one of those things and I have found a new love for cross-stitch. My mother-in-law does a beautiful job making stockings among other things and I thought I would try my hand at it and have found it to be something I enjoy attempting.

I finished a knitted ruffled scarf yesterday. It is dark brown and pink and it turned out really well! Now I want to make a hat that matches, just for the future happenstance that I may in my lifetime give birth to a little girl (we're thinking we're more of the boy making variety since my last miscarriage was a boy and then we had Little).

A "project" that had been in the works for a while was finally leaving Little with a sitter long enough to go to the Temple and enjoy a session without panic overtaking both Husband and I and giving up and turning around before we even reached the parking lot. It has now been accomplished and we are hoping to make it more of a regular occurance.

On the actual craft Project front, I have finally started using my Cricut that I got for Christmas and Little is going to have a birthday with the most fun signs and invitations - Hopefully I will be able to post his invites after they have been sent out so I don't ruin the fun for any recipient.

I have also started back into knitting my grandmothers famous baby booties - they don't come off and are so snugly cute. I made Little 3 pairs and that is what he wore for the longest time. Now that I am a more experienced knitter I am hoping to make some with more complex color schemes (i.e. stripes, different colored soles) and just stockpile them 'til we bring forth another Little or until I have reason to give some away as gifts.

I'm trying to get back into blogging more regularly, so as I try to dedicate my time to all the things I find very important in my life I will be attempting to be here more regularly with well-crafted posts.

Remembering 2008

I have been thinking about all the changes that happened in 2008 for me and Husband and Little. And while they may not seem momentous, they have changed our lives, for better or worse.

In {2008}

Husband and I moved into our apartment 30 minutes away from school and most family. (only downstairs from some family).

Husband and I made plenty of trips to the emergency room with false labor and those darn tricky braxton hicks contractions, among other pregnancy related lovlies like a shortening cervix, bleeding, very little fetal movement (lazy Little!) and a really bad case of heartburn that I thought was labor...

Husband and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary by going and getting an amnio and realizing that we would deliver our Little three years to the very day after we were married.

Husband and I welcomed Little into our lives with open arms.

I recovered from a c-section delivery and battled with my pregnancy pounds (lost 22 lbs of water weight in 2 weeks).

I rejoined Weight Watchers and took my family with me!

I started and FINISHED two classes at school and got good grades!

Husband started his 2nd year of Ph.D. education.

Husband submitted his first article for publication in a peer reviewed journal.

Husband started and stopped(due to school demands) an outside Therapy gig.

Little ate and slept and pooped and cried. Then he smiled, cooed, laughed, ate solids, got 4 teeth and began crawling and enjoying all the many adventures around him.

Little said his first word "Peh Pah" our little dogs name.... so much for Mama or Dadda.

I reached Lifetime status at WW and continued losing....

We made several life changing decisions, with the help of the divine...

Husband and I started reading scriptures to Little every night (sometimes only three or four verses, but we did it).

Husband and I eliminated violent and innapropriate media from our home to set an example for our children.

We suffered with those around us who suffered and grieved for their struggles and losses.

I watched my father struggle with a year long health battle requiring over 200 days in the hospital...and I watched him beat the D#%^ thing and I am grateful for his life!

I watched my mother change careers and succeed tremendously and flourish in her new environment.

I realized how very important life is to me, not just my own but all those I care for and love.

2008 was a year in the trenches for my entire family and we made it through on the other side stronger, with more intense and concrete testimonies of the gospel and conviction that cannot be removed from us.

I guess if I was looking for a year of positive changes made, I definately got what I was looking for and I am eternally grateful for all the blessings I have recieved! They have not come to us without trials to prove our determination and faith but we have recieved blessings and we are thankful for the entirety of our experiences.

Welcome to 2009...what are you going to bring us this year?

Resolute!

As the new year approaches every year I wonder why we use it as such a momentous celebration? Is there really any difference in one day that makes it so amazing because a number changed in the year. It causes me confusion for the first 6 months of the year when writing checks and filling out paperwork and for that reason alone it is slightly disconcerting. But when I really think about it I find that it is a marker in time, an opportunity to start anew with a resolute determination to fulfill your dreams and set new goals.

I hope that my 2009 will be filled with the following:

Love

Happiness

Family Fun

New experiences and opportunities to learn

A growing family

Weight Maintenance

Fulfilling relationships and growing friendships

and a great resolution found here....

to be more {becoming}

in speech in thought in deed in love

Via www.mormoninmanhattan.blogspot.com

Be Resolute - What do you hope for in the coming year?