Friday, March 27, 2009

These little piggies

are intermittently supporting a freestanding little man as I sit here and watch him test his balance and gently remove the the few chubby fingertips from the ledge that is supporting him. He tests and then decides for the safer route of minimal support and then tests again. Two nights ago he stood for about 5 seconds two different times while distracted by my other half. We tried to get him to do it again, but this little man has his own agenda and that does not normally involve standing or walking.
He is realizing he has a freedom in standing and he has learned the words "up!" to gain access to my arms and the world from a different point of view and only today "diap!" for diaper when his little bum was rash ridden and he wanted a new diaper. He's smart I tell you, but I'll also tell you I'm his mother. He got two more teeth on Saturday, now totalling eight. It has made his grin that much harder to resist. He is growing faster than I would like. The freedom from constant holding might seem like a luxury, but when I see him exploring his independence and refusing my hand or care in an effort to find his own way I yearn for a cuddly newborn that needs touching and holding and cooing. Alas, that is not in the life plan right now, hopefully sooner rather than later but I rely on greater things than my own wishes or desires to guide my life.
I frequently kvetch to my parents about my infertility woes, and indeed they do a good job of calming me and helping me to see through my jealousy and sadness. They help me to see that with 7 children of their own, my time will come. So I realize after brief sadness when I find out about a loved ones pregnancy that I am truly excited for them and cannot wait to see their joy and offer help when they may need it. When you experience infertility these announcements of the stork seem so frequent and so vivid in your memory, but in truth they are interspersed between happiness, sadness, grieving and the mundane happenings of years passing.
My life is great because of the little piggies pictured above, and I frequently kiss them and tickle them and bring laughter to my home making my life seem that much brighter!

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